I felt embarrassed as I sacrificed my femininity on the altar of heaven and shame. I bolted through the loud and crowded streets of Beirut, in disbelief of the absoluteness and permanency of what I had done. I cried.
The soul however is a powerful place and desire is nothing but true longings of a disobedient soul. Order can emerge from chaos. Disorder, on the other hand, is alluring. It has an enchanting unruliness, unpredictability and a randomness that no order can match. Chaos prefers disorder, but also provides an addicting flavor of freedom.
Have you ever thought what is it is in life that drives you? What is it you’d fight for, never compromise on, pay any price to get, and lose anyone to have? I grew up in chaos and I craved being infinitely free.